men suffering constipation - page three
The tale of...Paul
I have been suffering from IBS for most of my life. When I was a child I would move my bowels only once a week. My parents were always killing each other so it affected us children. I didn't know that a person needs to have a BM more often than that, so my toilet skills were never really practised much.
My problem is that I never feel clean after a bowel movement and it paralyses me and ruins my plans for the day. I would be outside and have a BM and then have to leave work, a party, a store or whatever I am doing. It is like feces are Kryptonite to me.
I have since been placed on disability. I had to close my business and I am always looking for an escape route. I have mentioned this whole deal to therapists and they gloss over it. Does anyone have any suggestions or ideas? Should I go back to square one? My life is ruined and I want to get it back. It took a lot to write all of this on here. Thank you all and may God bless.
E-mail Paul: paul_from_nyc2001@yahoo.com
The tale of...Bruce
I am a 39 year-old who has been diagnosed with IBS-C a little over a year ago. I was always constipated for as long as I can remember. I believe this is in part due to my own self-conciousness that I had as a child and a fear of sitting on the toilet. I had this fear because back when I was in grade school, the classrooms had a unisex bathroom in each classroom, and the door didn't lock, so there was no privacy whatsoever. So as a result I always supressed my need to have a bowel movement during school, and just tried to go at home.
This was the beginning of a long, ongoing problem that was going to get worse. To make matters worse, I had open heart surgery at the tender age of four years old, which I feel has contributed to this problem because of all the medications that were pumped into me, which caused me to be corked up. In my junior high and high school years the pain of constipation continued, again because of the supression I had to exhibit. The stalls in the boys' bathrooms had no doors on them, so again there was no privacy.
There was one day in junior high when I had to go #2 so bad that I went to the boys' bathroom and pooped, but not before a fellow classmate walked in and saw me on the toilet. Needless to say that kids are mean and I was ridiculed and teased for performing a normal bodily function. Anyway, I began to supress my need to use the toilet. I was fine for a while after that, going about four times a day, but that was short-lived.
At the age of 31 I had a second open heart surgery. Before my sugery I had an enema, which proved to be a cathartic experience but didn't help me afterward. I was in pain while I was recovering because I had a terrible time. Could not go if my life depended on it. I would be on the toilet every hour hoping for relief, but got only gas, and once (not to be gross) a small pellet came out, with lots of straining. After that, I began to gain weight, have abdominal pain, and always feel bloated. I disappear to the bathroom for at least 10 minutes, and I have been on the toilet for as long as an hour, in the hope of that ever-evasive bowel movement.
This darn issue has affected me with things like my mood, work, and even my weight. I can start with my work, because as anyone knows, how do you explain to your boss that you have a bowel problem without being mortified afterwards? There have been jobs that I have lost because of using the toilet a lot. I cannot understand why employers are so heartless to people's medical issues. There have been times that I have the urge, go to the bathroom, and sit there in pain for what seems like an eternity, hoping for a super poop, only to pass gas.
At the employer I currently work for, a manager accused me of using the bathroom as a library, because she found a magazine in there one time which didn't belong to me. This condition has affected my mood because when you have this miserable problem, you feel helpless and alone, and most of all chained to the toilet (because you never know when the constipation will let up and how).
It also makes me feel jealous of people who do not even have to think about this. The people who I have had enough nerve to tell about it, reply to me "Well, I go to the bathroom like clockwork". And then the unsolicited advice begins. With this I get depressed and feel even worse. Everytime I am on the toilet I think, "is this what will be for the rest of my life?". It has also affected my weight (I have been overweight most of my life, maybe this is part of the reason). I feel like every time I do go to the bathroom, my bowels do not get completely emptied, and feel that I should sit there longer, but with no luck.
My doctor diagnosed me last year and put me on Zelnorm, which worked for a while, but that too was short-lived. But as we all know, Zelnorm was pulled a couple of months ago. Now what, will there never be normal bowel movements in my future? I saw her last week, and she put me on this new drug called Amitiza. We will see what happens, and I will be seeing the doctor again later this month for a follow-up. Hopefully, there will be a happy tale to follow, sooner than later.
If anyone who reads this wants to share your thoughts with me, you may e-mail me at . Also, to the creator of this site, thank you very much for showing me that I am NOT alone.
E-mail Bruce: bhsoakwood[at]excite.com
The tale of...Wouter
I am Wouter and I am 22 years old. I come from the Netherlands. My life basically is a hell...I am always paranoid and always down. I don't show it to other people and I always act happy and am always smiling to other people. But deep inside I am really depressed. It's so hard to always act...I am tired of acting. My mom told me to see a physician because in my free time I don't wanna hang around people but I only wanna (sort off) lock myself in my room and watch movies and TV shows.
My life before I was sick wasn't like this at all. I was happy and liked everything and my social life was good, always partying, hanging around with my friends and seeing girls. But these days only my father, mother and brother understand me. I told a friend of mine and tried to explain why I don't always hang around with them, and he (I think) thinks that I am lying. So that is why nowadays I don't like people...they don't like what they can't understand.
On my good days I don't feel a thing, but I am still paranoid about getting sick, and there are good days when I only feel my stomach and feel pain but I take a painkiller and it goes away (I take a lot of those painkillers). On my bad days I can have diarrhea or constipation for days and can't even walk because of the pain.
Being depressed feels normal and I am sick and tired of feeling depressed. I learned a lot from all your stories and I wanna thank you all. I hope for all of you that the pain, paranoia and all the other things will go away and you will live normally.
E-mail Wouter: Chefpe[at]hotmail.com
The tale of...Scott
I'm a 52 year-old male with IBS and as everyone else has said it takes over your life. I wake up every morning very early with cramps in my back and in my stomach. When I first told my doctor he asked where the pain was and I had to tell him it was different all the time. He basically told me that there was nothing he could do. He said watch my diet and take an antacid.
Didn't work, I'm still waking up at 4 or 4:30am with the cramps and until I have a bowel movement of some kind I have the pain. It changes your personality or at least that's what I have found, I can't talk or be social in the morning because of the pain. It's some comfort to know it's not all in my head!
E-mail Scott: wsh54[at]comcast.net
The tale of...Dave
Wow - I stumbled on this site and read through some of the tales and I gotta say I know what each and every person here is going through. It is so comforting to know that I am not alone. For as long as I can remember, until the age of 22 I would have to find a toilet and find it quick right after I ate. All of my friends knew this and if we went out to eat, we'd have to wait and stick around for a couple minutes before we left because I'd have to wait to feel that dying urge to empty my bowels.
Anyway, from the age of 22 on (I'm now 25) I've been facing bouts of constipation and cramps and gas and it's just so unbearable at times. I read on the homepage about the pain that person was going through, and I can relate 100%. As soon as that first wave of pain hits, I just want to retreat to my house to my safety spot and just be alone. That way the pain isn't as bad. Normal people would probably just think "Well, if there's pain, go to the bathroom", but it's just not that easy. Sometimes I could sit somewhere for 10 minutes and can't make anything happen.
It affects my work, and it affects my relationship with my girlfriend as far as not wanting to go out or go on vacations because the stress of leaving my "safety zone" just really gets my body all worked up. Anyway, just wanted to let anyone out there who may be reading this know that you're not alone. There are many people suffering. And it is just as hard for all of us to talk about this with those who just don't necessarily understand fully the pain that we go through.
The tale of...Everett
My IBS affliction isn't nearly half as bad as everyone else's, but it's still something that is extremely aggravating. About four months ago I happened to get a stomach bug that caused acute diarrhea for two weeks straight, accompanied by a high fever, night sweats, all that fun stuff.
After two weeks the diarrhea cleared up, but then I noticed that I had mucus in my stool. Sometimes, I feel like I have to pass a stool very badly, but then all it turns out to be is a tiny bit of mucus. I went to the doctor and it turned out that I had a very small hemorrhoid and a "minor case" of IBS.
I now have some bloating, along with passing mucus in my stool all the time. I don't particularly have pain. However, my stool seems not to smell the same as it used to (disgusting as it sounds, I feel like it just smells different). And I don't know if this is from the mucus or from bacteria or other microbials that shouldn't be there.
I have been taking Fibercon now twice a day but it doesn't really seem to be doing anything. I am wondering if anyone else has had the mucus and strange smelling problem, or am I alone on this and should I ask the doctor to do more tests to see? I never knew such a widespread thing could be so aggravating to my health!
E-mail Everett: everett[at]nyu.edu
The tale of...Mark
About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with IBS and I have been enduring it ever since. When I first encountered it I was a highly ranked amateur cyclist. I was also involved in martial arts, competition squash and other social sporting activities. I was 27 at the time.
During bouts of IBS, whenever those terrible moments passed on the toilet I also suffered chronic fatigue where I found that all I could do was stumble to bed and pass out having no energy. I suffered not only the affliction of IBS but the humiliation of having those around me make statements that I was just being lazy because I kept my personal pain of IBS to myself. It's not something you can share in detail with others without making them feel off.
For instance, how could they understand what it is like to go to the toilet 15 times a day, crying your eyes out as you pass a movement where it feels like hot lava is draining from your body? How could they understand bursting hemorrhoids just by going to the toilet?
I must admit that during my years of having IBS my diet has not always been appropriate. Whilst I was a cyclist, the high carbs and calories needed to provide my body with enough energy to do the sport as well as compensate for IBS was probably not good for me.
As I write this, I have just came from the doctor's surgery, where he stated that I did not have IBS due to the symptoms that I gave him regarding the past few days. I had just looked up on the internet some information that confirmed my symptoms, but my own family doctor sees it as something else.
To put the icing on the cake, he told me that there is are no known medical facts about patients with IBS suffering with a total loss of energy after passing bowel movements. This affliction as I call it seems to be the 20th Century affliction due to all the unknown chemicals that go into our body from all the food that we eat, and I am sure that one day in the future our affliction will have an explanation, but that day is not here yet.
In closing I would like to say that I have not found any real answers to helping myself, except that I have watched certain types of foods that increased the IBS and that the IBS decreased as I began to avoid those types of foods. I still have the IBS cycle of three weeks of two to three days constipation followed by movement and then at the fourth week I will have a week of IBS where I'm passing lava each movement together with blood.
All I can say is that I deal with it, I try to live a normal life without it interfering so much, but there are days where it does. I am just trying to deal with it one day at a time.