A fellow IBS sufferer has sent me a great quote about some people’s attitudes to IBS. She says:
“When people say ‘Have you tried drinking more water?’ or ‘Maybe you just need to learn to relax’ in that patronising and quite dismissive way, I feel like saying, look, I don’t say to you, ‘Have you tried wearing a more flattering shade of lipstick?’ when you tell me you think your husband is having an affair.”
That really sums up the attitude of some non-sufferers, for two reasons. Firstly, because for some inexplicable reason people often feel feel compelled to offer “advice” the moment they hear about your problem, despite the fact that their knowledge of IBS clearly amounts to one short article in the Daily Mail.
And secondly, it shows just how large the gap is between our own perception of IBS, and the non-sufferer’s perception. If your husband is having an affair then that’s a pretty serious issue, and it’s not something that’s gonna be solved by a bit of lippy. And if you have IBS, that’s a pretty serious, intractable, painful disorder – so why on earth do people think that it’s quite so easily cured?
I think part of this is a holdover from when doctors diagnosed people who had IBS as ‘spastic colon’ or whatnot, and DID advise diet changes, fiber, etc. Now that we have a name for it, and even medications for symptoms, you’d think people would take IBS more seriously.
I just try not to let it get to me. I know they’re never going to understand what I(we) go through. They’re only trying to help most of the time although they really don’t get it and never will unless they actually get IBS themselves. They’re a lot like some doctors I know. That’s another topic.
Going even more off topic, I went and saw my new chiropractor and he talks a good game. He’s the first (doctor) I actually believe that knows quite a bit about IBS. I think this is my 7th doctor. Yikes! He’s working with some cutting edge IBS stuff which is perfect for me, the IBS guinea pig. Just as long as it isn’t drug related. No more drugs.
I’m really pleased to have found this website where people with IBS or views on IBS can have their say.
As a Nutritional Therapist I receive requests for help with IBS on a regular basis. I have a website with a designated IBS page and information on how to access help. I’ve also written a self-help book which should soon be avaialable as a download.
I’ll certainly keep watching this site!
Elizabeth Harfleet
Nutritional Therapist
Manchester UK
im happy that i have found this website.it helps me out a lot..im 15 and got i.b.s at 14. some of my friends at school think its funny when i say i have i.b.s…they just dont know what im(we) going through.i miss so many days at school and i always miss out when all my friends go out..it sucks.
this website is helping me..
thank you
I can relate to this I have had some absolute corkers from people as well. I think it is the nature of human beings to always try to help- or stick their oar in. ha ha! I have come to realise though that when it comes to loved ones they sometimes feel as “helpless” as we do- watching someone suffering is one of the worst things imaginable especially when you can’t help.