Most of us IBS sufferers know the drill. You’ve been in pain for weeks on end, your stomach is killing you, and you go into the office or the classroom day after day after day and no-one offers to help you. And then someone comes in with a cold and gets surrounded by well-wishers before they’ve even sat down.
And as if that wasn’t enough, they then milk it for all it’s worth. “Oh, I’ll struggle on,” they say, “I’ll somehow make it through,” because obviously they are so important that the whole place would fall apart without them, and they’ll manfully find a way to cope with the incredible agony that comes with a blocked-up nose and some phlegm.
Humph, I say. And bah humbug. You know what the problem is? It’s invisible illnesses. If you get a cold, everybody knows it because you sneeze at regular intervals. “Look at me, poor old me”, say the sneezes. “Sympathy to come in this direction.”
If you have IBS, you just don’t have this. Sure, sometimes you have to run to the bathroom quickly, but people just laugh at that. Your greatest moments of agony are experienced alone, in a locked stall, out of sight of everyone. Even when you’re walking around in constant pain, no-one can see it, so no-one offers to help. It’s that simple.
It seems to me that if a human being is the product of a higher power, they kind of got interrupted half-way through sorting out the pain signals. They had just decided that pain would be a great way to let you know that something needed fixing, and then the doorbell rang, so they never got to the second part – working out how to show exactly where the pain was, and exactly how you should fix it.
If I have a stomach ache, I think my stomach should glow purple. If my intestines are killing me, I want bright fluorescent stripes across my gut. They should vary in brightness according to how bad the pain is, and they should be blatantly obvious to everyone.
I would then walk into the office and people would turn away from the Pathetic Little Person with a Cold and gasp in awe at the Incredible Heart of Courage of the Fluorescent-Stomached Girl. That’d show them who really deserved the help.
Sophie,
This is so true. I went to a government office with my mother and of course, there was a long line. I have found that when my intestines aren’t doing well it is really difficult to stand up in one place for a long period of time. So we take a number, step in line, and the security guy comes by to make sure we have all our paperwork ready. I ask if we can sit down since we have our little numbered ticket. And he looks at me, looks at my mom, and says, ‘She can go sit down. But not you.’ Basically assumes that b/c I look young I must be in great shape, but my mom in her fifties must need to take a seat and get comfortable. I was so upset I said to my mom, ‘What do I need to do? Wear a sign around my neck that says ‘I have a chronic illness’?
Now my mom basically said to ignore the guy and do what was best for me. So I sat down. But I periodically got up and checked where she was in line, or if she wanted to go to the bathroom I could stand for the five minutes or so. And I got a TON of raised eyebrows from people seeing our interactions. I just so hate the fact that people will assume the worst about me, that I’m some rude person, but it’s not like I can go around like the town crier proclaiming my IBS. I think in that way having a Neon Abdomen would help a lot. People would hopefully not be instantly judgmental.
Hi Sophie
I fully understand your comments! In the past people at work could obviously see when I was in pain. However, when I told them the source of my pain they never responded and just viewed me suspiciously. Usually “oh” would be the reaction.
Personally, I put their reaction down to not having any experience of what I am describing, and so not being able to help. Let’s face it, the most they’ll ever experience our discomfort is through over indulgence on christmas day or a case of food posioning. Even then an ‘upset stomach’ is not IBS. They are two completely different things. Now if I am ill with something they do understand (i.e. a headache or cold) they can help, and so I get showered with attention.
My mother has experienced something similar all her life, as she suffers from a chronic back condition. I have always been aware of a certain level of disbeleif about her condition, despite several operations. What more do people want?
Like my mother, I often wonder whether people think I’m making it up or exaggerating. Very frustrating. Ellie
If it ever came to color indicators on the human body, i just wish i had an line indicator that would shoud upon my forearms. The higher the red lines, the closer I am to an attack. That way you can see when you are getting nearer and neared to the point of no return and you can back off/take more precautions to prevent the attack. Line at Defcon Three? Back off on ANY trigger food. Line at Two? Drink more water. Down to one? Soluble Fiber only. It could TELL you exactly after eating what foods trigger a spike. NOW, i know what to avoid or how much or how little effects me. Hell, even a coundtown timer during an attack to tell when the pain will eventually go beyond critical mass and you hit “Splash Down: if you’ll pardon the expression. Damn it! IF i’m hitting middle age already and we still don’t all have jetpacks, can’t we have this kind of futuristic technology?
um… sorry.
Nice Blog, by the way…
When I get IBS pain I constantly feel like I need a wee. Is that just a male thing?
David
Hello, I am a 20 + year IBS sufferer and here is my best comparison.
Last December on a Sunday, I was diagnosed with pneumonia and barely escaped a hospital stay, on the following Wednesday, while recovering at home, I had some new pains. All IBS’rs will understand the term “new pains” since we are all so in tune with the many varied and complex pains that we experience so often. By lunch I was back in the hospital X-Ray area passing a rather large kidney stone. My Doc just barely allowed me back to work the next Monday. Needless to say, it was a painfull and overall horrible week. Many people at work and elsewhere were shocked that I didn’t miss more work, didn’t appear to feel that bad, or that I could cope with that much pain and discomfort. Hello….pain, nausea and discomfort are my specialty.
I would be willing to do several weeks just like that a year if it would mean I wouldn’t have to do this IBS nightmare that I deal with almost daily. For the record, passing large kidney stones (I’ve now passed a total of 3) do hurt (a bit) worse than any of my IBS episodes, and they can take longer so that makes it worse. I’d give Kidney stones a 10 and bad IBS cramps an 9, so for all of those people who want to know how bad IBS can get… there’s a hint.
And for all those people who have thought or said about any IBS sufferer “it seems like your always sick” or “it can’t be that bad” be very glad that there is no visible signs of my symptoms, because depending on the day, I might go for a more aggressive sign than a glowing purple tummy…if you know what I mean.
i totally understand this post. this is EXACTLY how i feel at work. UGHHAS;DFJAS;DFK!!