IBS Tales

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the bathroom...

2008-11-22T22:03:04Z

I should have known that writing an entry about how well I was feeling was just asking for trouble, and trouble is what I got. This past Sunday I had what I can only describe as a super double triple mega crap attack, a gut-wrenching monstrosity of such epic proportions that it may well have been the worst IBS attack I have had in the whole of my life. Here's what happened.

Got up on Sunday, everything seemed fine. Had breakfast, sat around a bit, checked my emails, a regular day. Went to have a shower. Had been in the shower for a few minutes when I started to get a stomach ache and feel really ill. Had to sit down in the shower, but that didn't help. Got out of the shower and sat on the bathroom floor for a while.

By this time I was feeling really, really grim. Stomach was killing me, and I was feeling the kind of ill that I have only ever experienced with IBS, a sort of sweaty, shaking, good Lord this does NOT feel good kind of illness.

After perhaps 15 minutes of this I needed the bathroom. Then I went and sat on the bedroom floor, wrapped in my towel still because I felt too ill to get dressed, and just kind of stared at the walls trying to wait things out.

But the pain wasn't going away, and I still felt grim. After a while needed the bathroom again, went, and then came into the living room, all towelled up still, and sat on the sofa, again to try to wait things out. And this time, thankfully, I did slowly start to feel better, although during all of this time I still felt too ill to get dressed or to even distract myself with the telly or anything else.

The entire attack from start to finish lasted for about two hours, which is perhaps the longest I have ever experienced. Like usual I was extremely grateful just for it to be over, and since then I have been fine.

In some ways this attack was not that mysterious, as it came on the first day of my period, which is a standard trigger for some of the most violent attacks I have had. But I certainly don't get attacks like this with every period, so just what the hell was going on? IBS really is nuts.

My IBS lately

2008-10-04T20:27:34Z

Thought it was about time I provided an update on my own IBS - although I certainly don't have as many bowel-related mishaps as I used to I'm still not a perfectly-intestined person, and I don't think I ever will be.

Just as a reminder, or a heads-up to any new readers of this blog, a quick summary of my own IBS situation would be - food poisoning at 12, IBS sufferer ever since (that was 18 years ago now), mainly constipation but also spectacular diarrhea attacks at intervals, lots of pain and discomfort, now largely under control with Normacal, Celevac, magnesium citrate tablets and a gluten-free diet.

To put things in perspective, since the start of 2008 I would say I have probably had perhaps 10 days where something was clearly, tangibly wrong with my bowels. Compared to, say, the same period of time in 2001, that's an incredible improvement. In 2001, the number would probably have been closer to 150 days, if not more.

I haven't had a single spectacular diarrhea episode this year, which is fantastic, because they are just absolutely grim from start to finish - so painful, so intense, and just nasty.

What I do have are kind of odd bowel episodes where something is obviously wrong, but not to extremes. So I do have days of the big C, but I am usually back to normal within 24 hours. I do have days where it feels like my guts are over-inflated, and a couple of werks back I had some impressively loud bowel sounds that were obviously a complaint from the gut department about something or other.

I also have days where, how can I put this politely - oh sod it, this is a bowel blog - my poops are fairly obviously the poops of someone with a bowel problem. Sometimes I care about this, but only really if it goes along with pain or discomfort (as it often does). Mostly I try to remind myself that even normal people have poopal variations.

And there we are. When people tell us to learn to live with our IBS, I imagine that this is what they think we are living with - bits of pain here and there, the odd day of discomfort. And it is pretty easy to live with, although there is always an IBS gremlin at the back of mind telling me that things could get worse at any moment.

But for now, I am, thankfully, amazingly, pretty darn well. Thank the good Gut Lord for that.

I have IBS - now what?

2008-08-24T14:41:24Z

I Have IBS - Now What? by Dr Ashkan Farhadi was first released in 1996, but a brand spanking third edition has just come out so it's a good time to give it a review.

This book uses a simple question and answer format to tackle the main concerns of IBS patients. The first section explains the basics irritable bowel, including how common it is, what a functional disorder is, how IBS is diagnosed using the Rome Criteria, and so on.

The second section looks at possible causes of IBS (or the 'etiology') and covers subjects such as what triggers IBS symptoms (certain foods, stress, menstrual cycles etc) and why these triggers vary from patient to patient.

This kind of chapter is always a difficult one in IBS books because you get into the realms of the brain-gut axis and serotonin and neurotransmitters. On the one hand I do think that it's valuable to learn everything you can about IBS, but on the other I think that 99% of people who buy books about IBS are looking for treatment ideas and relief, and perhaps especially so if you have just been diagnosed.

Still, it's a bit harsh to criticise the author for being careful to explain the science behind IBS, and he earns bonus points for giving a clear answer to my litmus test for IBS doctors - do you believe that IBS is all in our heads or psychological? Here's how the book covers that old chestnut...

Q. "I have been referred to several physicians and after extensive evaluation they told me "you are healthy and everything is in your head". But I am sure that there is something wrong with me. So I kept changing doctors to figure out my problem. Are you telling me now that I have a real problem in my GI tract?"

A. Yes. Actually, acceptance and understanding of your disorder is one of the key steps in your successful treatment.

Q. "Finally, after all these years, I feel a little bit better now that I know that I have a common, treatable disorder. Everybody thought that everything was in my head and that I think I am sick, or "psycho" or that I like to play the sick role. So they were wrong!"

A. Yes. Your disorder, IBS, is very well-known to most physicians. It is even possible to observe the abnormalities in GI motility when certain sophisticated types of tests are conducted.

The author also addresses the vicious circle of IBS (stress causes symptoms causing more stress) and says that it could well be the IBS that makes us nervous and anxious, rather than the preferred explanation of many doctors who like to believe in a typical weedy IBS patient whose symptoms are caused by her pathetic personality.

Again, perhaps a little too much explanatory science in this section, with a lot written on mast cells and cytokines and dysmotility, which is all very interesting but only if your stomach isn't killing you.

The third section describes the typical symptoms of IBS, as well as outlining what symptoms are not generally part of IBS and should be investigated further. It also looks at common stimulants for symptoms, including different foods, smoking and alcohol.

Section four looks at how IBS is diagnosed and describes some of the tests that you might need to undergo. It also covers alternative diagnoses such as celiac disease.

Section five describes the treatments that are available for IBS, and this for me is the most important part of any IBS book for patients. Dr Farhadi suggests that reducing the stimuli that set off IBS should be the foundation of a treatment approach, and that means avoiding trigger foods and reducing stress. And that's fair enough.

He also mentions treatments such as hypnotherapy, fiber, some commons laxatives and anti-diarrheals, herbal remedies, anti-depressants and aloe vera. A fairly good chapter then, but as it only covers 21 pages of the book I wouldn't describe it as exceptional, and I would have liked to have seen far more detail in some of the answers.

The sixth chapter is called "Living with IBS" and looks at some miscellaneous issues such as whether IBS affects sleep (apparently a recent study has shown a link between IBS and sleep problems) and whether pregnancy affects IBS.

The final chapter is titled "IBS Latest News" and is intended to cover the latest research and treatment options for IBS, but I found some of the info here pretty irrelevant - to be honest I'm not that interested to know whether Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is an infectious disease or not, even if it does have ties to IBS, and if video capsule endoscopy can detect undiagnosed cases of Crohn's Disease then that's super but it's not going to help my IBS.

So - this was a clear, and interesting book, if a little short for my taste in some sections and long in others (and overall it's on the short side as well, just 119 pages). Dr Farhadi is clearly a fan of patient education and the power of knowledge, and that's great - I would just argue that knowledge of complex gastrointestinal processes is less important in a book like this than a comprehensive run down of all possible IBS treatments. It's tough to concentrate on neurotransmitters and mast cells when your gut is having a breakdown.

You can read more about I Have IBS - Now What? on the author's website.

In terms of my best ever IBS book recommendation I would have to go for IBS - Answers at Your Fingertips for UK sufferers, and probably The First Year - IBS for US sufferers (also available as a UK edition). But let me know if you disagree!

Gluten-free goodies from Trufree

2008-08-21T16:03:14Z

Trufree, the UK manufacturers of wheat and gluten-free foods, have just released some new products, and I'm pleased to say that I've been sent some samples for review. I'm even more pleased to say that the samples were of Cookie Bites, Chocolate Brownie Bites and Choc Dippers. Mmmmmm. (Pause for Homer Simpson-esque gargling noise).

When you're following a gluten-free diet, like I have done for the past seven or eight years, there are so many foods that you have to cut out from your diet. Luckily in recent years there has been an explosion of good quality gluten-free foods, and although they are often pricier than their glutenful counterparts, and sometimes can't match the taste and texture of the standard foods, they are still very useful.

I use a range of gluten-free foods, and I tend to think of them as being in two different categories - the staple stuff and the fun stuff. Staple foods include bread and pasta, boring necessities, and the fun stuff covers things like biscuits, cakes and doughnuts. Gluten really does get in everywhere, and if you're wiping it out completely from your diet then it means foregoing a whole stack of scrumptious goodies.

So that's where the gluten-free alternatives come in. I should tell you that all of the products mentioned in this review are gluten and wheat-free, and no, gluten and wheat are not the same thing. Gluten is a protein that is found in wheat, rye and barley (and to a lesser extend oats, oats always cause a big argument for some reason). So if a product is labelled wheat-free but not gluten-free then it could well contain rye or barley, and therefore gluten.

OK, first up, the Cookie Bites. These are mini versions of the classic chocolate chip cookie, in a cute little resealable tub rather than a packet. They were certainly very tasty, although in common with other gluten-free biscuits I have tried they were a little on the dry side, but that's no doubt due to the limitations of the rice, potato and other flours that the manufacturers have to use instead of normal flour. Still, they disappeared very quickly nonetheless. I would give these a seven out of ten.

Next, a Choc Dipper, which is not something that I thought would ever be available for us gluten avoiders. The Choc Dipper comes in a little pot, and you get small breadsticks to dip into some Nutella-like chocolate spread. Again very tasty, and a generous portion of the choc spread was appreciated. Another seven out of ten.

And finally, another cute little tub, this time containing Brownie Bites, another mini version of a traditional chocolate recipe. These were my favourite of the lot. They were nicely soft and squidgy with a proper cake consistency, and plenty of choc pieces to boot. Highly recommended, and I'd give these a nine out of ten.

You can find these new products in branches of Waitrose and Asda, and you can also check out the range of Trufree products on their site at http://www.trufree.co.uk (the products I have reviewed are so brand spanking new they're not on the website yet, but you can see lots of other stuff there including breads, other biscuits, pasta and more).

Do you guys have any favourite gluten-free products, or do you recommend any of the Trufree range? Let me know by leaving a comment.

Top One Stupid Thing Said to IBS Sufferers by other IBS sufferers, and the Reason Why It's So Dumb

2008-07-16T14:44:39Z

OK, so that title's not gonna win me any headline-writing competitions, but those of you who have read my Top 10 Stupid Things Said to IBS Sufferers may have got the reference.

This post is about the one stupid thing that we as IBS sufferers say to each other. I could only think of one as opposed to 10 because we IBS people are obviously more intelligent than that other lot. So - onto the stupid. And the stupid goes something like this...

"I have been taking this pill for three weeks now and it has cured me completely, you should all run out and try it right this second!"

Or this:

"I have been taking this pill for three weeks now and it has made my symptoms 300 times worse, you must never ever take this pill on any account ever even if it's the last pill on Earth."

Why are those things so stupid, and what do they have in common? Because drugs, and any other treatment, affect people differently. That's it.

I receive lots of IBS stories and treatment reviews in my webmaster capacity, whole truckloads of the things, and the vast majority are very useful and well-written and I am proud to display them on my sites in the hope that they might help people find out about different treatments and gain some hope that there really are treatments that work.

However, I do find that I sometimes need to edit out the odd comment, the ones where people tell me and other sufferers, with absolute certainty, that I must never ever ever take Lotronex, say, or Imodium, despite the fact that there are already 12 glowing reviews of Lotronex or Imodium on the site, and despite the clinical trials that show the drugs work for many people.

You see this on all kinds of health forums across the net - people who have had a good or bad experience with a drug or product and then proceed to either tell everyone that they must take it immediately or else, or not touch it with a bargepole. And it's just daft.

If you've been to a restaurant and they took two hours to serve you then fine, tell everyone you know that it's rubbish. But if you just tried a treatment and it didn't work for your particular symptoms, in your particular body, then just say "It didn't work for me" and leave it be. Because otherwise you might be warning someone away from the one treatment that could actually change their life.

Benefits for IBS

2008-05-30T20:20:08Z

Did you know that 4,090 people in the UK are too sick to work because of IBS? That's the number of people who claimed incapacity benefit or severe disablement allowance in February 2007 and who cited IBS as the main reason for their claim. (For my further-flung readers, incapacity benefit and severe disablement allowance are 'social security' allowances, ie: government money for people too ill to earn a living).

Let's put that 4,090 figure (the most recent figure that has been released) in context. There are perhaps 40 million people of working age in the UK. Now, IBS comes in degrees, and you'd have to have severe IBS to stop you working completely.

So, let's say 0.5% of the 40 million people have severe or very severe IBS, and that gives us 200,000 people, rather more than the four thousand odd who currently claim benefits. Even if we go down to 0.1% of the population, that's 40,000 people, which is still 10 times the 4,090 figure.

To arrive at a figure of 4,090 you have to go down to 0.0001% of the working population. That's quite a small number. And this is out of a total of 2,704,100 people on sickness benefits, which is a startling number in itself.

And things get even more startling if we compare the figures for IBS to those for other disorders - an astounding 506,800 people claim for depression, 50,000 for alcoholism, and 54,320 for epilepsy. I would have thought there would be at least as many IBS sufferers unable to work as there were epileptics unable to work, wouldn't you? Is depression really 123 times as common as severe IBS? IBS is after all often cited as the second most common cause of absenteeism, so lots of us clearly struggle to earn a living. So where's all our money?!

But before we get all worked up about the injustice of it all, there are a few things to bear in mind. First, the stats are "are based on [government] staff's interpretation of what can sometimes be quite vague information about the disabling condition on medical certificates". In other words, the stats are compiled by a spotty 20 year-old who is paid minimum wage to do a crushingly boring data entry task, may occasionally nod off while he's doing it, and has to interpret all kinds of vague medical scribblings and then shove them into just one category.

So that means that all of the figures and categories should be taken with a pinch of salt. Plus, of course, plenty of people will come under more than one category - there might well be a lot us IBS types hidden in the 'depression' category, or the 'anxiety disorders' category, because for whatever reason the depression or anxiety is considered the 'main disabling condition', rather than the IBS.

Secondly, I don't actually believe that 2,704,100 people in the UK are too sick to work. Some people are on benefits fraudulently, and perhaps many more are genuinely sick but not really sick enough to claim benefits - you can find whole towns where huge numbers of people are on incapacity benefit, and it's linked to unemployment and poverty and general grim reality rather than a ridiculously unhealthy local population.

So 4,090 people with IBS so severe that it prevents them from working, who have no other primary disorder such as depression, might actually be about right.

Perhaps the most useful thing we can learn from these statistics is that it is possible to get sickness benefits for IBS alone. One of the most common misunderstandings about the benefit system is that there is a magic list somewhere of all the disorders that qualify for payments, and if your illness is on the list then you're sorted.

That's just not true. It's more about assessing each individual case and exactly how your illness affects your life and your ability to work, and IBS, with its pain and its discomfort and its marathon bathroom sessions, is just as valid a disorder as anything else.

So if you are suffering from IBS, and you find yourself unable to work, for goodness' sake apply for benefits. As any IBS sufferer will know, you sure deserve them.

(Just out of interest, when these stats were first released some of the newspapers had a very exciting time ripping the government to shreds, first because of the sheer number of people on benefits, which is fair enough, but also because some of the medical conditions cited in the statistics were seen as ridiculous reasons to claim sick pay.

I read articles that were sneeringly dismissive about all kinds of conditions, including migraines, sleep disorders, and depression. Because, as you know, migraines are a bit of a headache, sleep disorders make you yawn a lot, and depression robs you of the ability to sing along to Harry Connick Jnr in the shower. Luckily, I didn't see anyone insult the IBS sufferers, but I hate that idiotic brand of self-satisfied, judgemental bleating that comes out of people who are lucky enough to have no real idea of what they're talking about.

On the other hand, I have to admit that even I, who will always be on the side of the sick person, was a little baffled by some of the categories - 40 people claim for 'nail disorders', and 50 for 'acne'? I suspect a spotty 20 year-old with a sleep disorder has got his categories in a bit of a muddle...)

If I Had 101 IBS Sufferers...

2008-05-05T15:23:04Z

...this is what I would do...

1) Put the diarrhea sufferers on calcium carbonate, and the constipation sufferers on magnesium (probably the citrate form)

2) Tell them all to stop drinking alcohol and any caffeinated drinks

3) Put them all on a gluten-free and dairy-free diet

4) Tell them to cut out all artificial sweeteners, and keep sweets and treats to a minimum

5) Tell them to take a fiber supplement (NOT bran or anything with wheat in, something like Citrucel or acacia fiber) with lots of water

6) Tell them to start hypnotherapy with a specialist IBS therapist, or use the IBS Audio Program 100

And that's it! Now, that's a lot more advice than many sufferers get from their doctors. What do you think - how many people would get at least some relief? What would you advise people with IBS if you had to do it in a generalised way?

(This post comes with the usual boring disclaimer that I never ever offer medical advice, I'm not a doctor and I don't even play one on TV).

Comments are now on (I hope and pray)

2008-04-18T22:31:28Z

Right - after an extremely interesting few weeks tearing my hair out and chopping off various limbs, I have now, finally, got my blog software to accept new entries and comments. All I can say is, thank the Good Lord, whether he exists or not.

So - please feel free to comment on any entry on this blog should you feel so inclined. You'll also notice that the layout and colour scheme has changed, partly because there are some fancy new settings to play around with in the new blog software, partly because I can't be bothered to try to recreate the old site. Things will probably change more in the future too, so bear with me.

IBS: Answers at Your Fingertips

2008-04-09T15:58:51Z

I was recently sent a copy of a new book called IBS: Answers at Your Fingertips for review, and I have to say that I was extremely disappointed in this book. The last two books that I reviewed, IBS Chat and Romance, Riches and Restrooms were rather grand, and I had to give them glowing reviews, which is far less fun than ripping a book to shreds.

Unfortunately, IBS: Answers at Your Fingertips is if anything even more worthy of a glowfest, so that's no fun at all. If anyone out there has just published a book called IBS - It's All in Your Head You Big Freakshow then please forward a copy to me at your earliest convenience so I can trash it.

So, reluctantly, let's get on with the glowing.

IBS: Answers at Your Fingertips is written by Dr Udi Shmueli, Consultant Physician and Gastroenterologist at Northampton General Hospital in the UK, and it uses a simple question and answer format throughout to cover all of the typical IBS questions - what causes IBS, what are they symptoms, what are the treatments, and so on.

There are a number of books that do this already of course, but there are a few reasons why this book is a bit special. Firstly, it covers a number of myths and specialised topics that I haven't actually seen mentioned in other books. Here are just a few of the best snippets of info that you might not find elsewhere:

- IBS is not caused by a Western lifestyle or the 'usual suspects' of smoking, alcohol or obesity as it exists in every society that has been examined

- IBS is more common in women in most countries, but not India, Sri Lanka and Japan, where it is more common in men

- studies have shown that bloating in IBS is a real, not perceived, phenomenon, and the increase in abdominal circumference can actually be measured

- the idea that laxatives can damage the bowel if taken for too long is a myth, and patients are very unlikely to become dependent on laxatives

- in IBS studies, as many as 30% to 50% of patients will improve when given a placebo, or sugar pill, and this placebo effect can last for as long as three months.

These facts come in addition to very comprehensive chapters on each aspect of IBS, including separate chapters looking at IBS-D, IBS-C and IBS-A (alternating between diarrhea and constipation). There are a lot of useful suggestions on which treatments are most effective for which symptoms, as well as a good dose of realism (although not enough to depress you) about the fact that IBS can be tough to treat and we shouldn't expect a magic bullet.

The fact that Dr Shmueli manages to make it clear that IBS is a tough cookie without turning the book into a hopeless downer is testament to another major strength of this book - the fact that it is clearly written by a practising IBS doctor who knows how to treat people like human beings.

Right from the introduction, when Dr Shmueli writes about doctor's attitudes to IBS sufferers and says "Historically, blaming the victim was a common response to insoluble problems", it's clear that the author is not one of those unfortunate doctors who believe that IBS sufferers are malingerers and medical doctors are God.

When was the last time you read a book by a doctor who writes about hypochondria and admits that he had several 'terminal illnesses' himself in medical school, or quotes one of his old medical textbooks as saying "Half of what we know is untrue. The problem is - which half?" and says that this phrase applies just as well to his own book?

I also liked the admission that current medical knowledge is just that - what doctors believe to be the truth at the current time, rather than facts set in stone: "Since the dawn of history, people have reported symptoms that their doctors could not explain in terms of actual physical findings. The theories dreamed up to explain such symptoms in the past appear ludicrous today, and no doubt today's offerings will amuse future generations."

Despite this acknowledgement, there is still plenty of good, sound advice in this book, often with very interesting references to clinical studies. This is a great book for both the newly-diagnosed and the long-term sufferer. If all IBS patients had access to this kind of knowledge and empathy, we'd all be a great deal happier.

This is a UK publication, so some of the drugs and supplements may be unfamiliar to overseas folk, but the majority of the info is useful to all.

IBS: Answers at Your Fingertips is available direct from the publishers - see their website for ordering details.

Small disclaimer: IBS Tales is listed in the "Useful Resources" section of this book, and I was rather chuffed to see it described as a "fascinating and moving site", although obviously that hasn't affected my review in any way. The sports car did though.

And yet more comment problems...

2008-03-30T22:07:06Z

Many apologies, I'm still fighting the blog software, the comment section now seems to have disappeared entirely. Normal service will resume as soon as I work out what the bloomin' 'eck is going on.

Comment problems

2008-03-17T21:52:05Z

I've had some reports from people who have tried to comment on this blog but have had their comments apparently rejected by the system - I would just like to confirm that this is not because I have read the comments and thought "No way, dude, write something interesting", but instead it's my blog software being very strange indeed, and deciding for some unknown reason to block off certain comments.

Many apologies. This past weekend I have updated the blog software to the latest version (well, my helpful tech guys have done it for me, let's be honest) and changed a few settings, and so hopefully things will be back to normal now.

If you could spare five minutes to test out the new system and leave a comment on this entry (just "Hey, how are the guts") I would appreciate it!

When IBS isn't

2008-02-12T16:26:06Z

My last blog entry was on the topic of self-diagnosis and how moronic it is, and when I mentioned the same subject to my newsletter subscribers I got a pretty hefty response. If there's anyone out there who is still self-diagnosing, have a read of this:

"I confess I was one of the dummy ones that read about IBS on the net and said "Yes, this sounds like", but I am the scientific-minded type so I wanted to cross-check my self-diagnosis. It came out to be something incredibly simple but not less troublesome - a helicobacter pylori infection.

I said not less troublesome because some strains of these bacteria are resistant to the first antibiotics commonly prescribed. I've taken two courses of antibiotics already and it seems to be still there...

The symptoms may be very similar to IBS - for every different patient, there may be slight variations of the symptoms for the same condition. I am happy I went to see the doctor, otherwise I could have have this disease undiagnosed for years. Helicobacter infections are associated with stomach cancer, hence the importance of a medical opinion."

While a number of emails agreed with the dangers of self-diagnosis, there were also several emails from people who weren't self-diagnosing, but had actually been misdiagnosed by doctors. This is a good reminder that any medical diagnosis will require co-operation and communication from both the doctor and the patient, and there is responsibility on both sides.

Patients must visit a doctor in the first place, and then we must explain ourselves clearly, mention ALL of our symptoms, not just the socially acceptable ones, and try to ensure that our doctor has a clear picture of how our symptoms are affecting our lives.

And doctors must take the time to listen, offer tests and referrals if needed, show empathy to patients in pain, and make sure that they don't jump to the nearest conclusion.

I'll leave you with one of the emails I received on the subject of doctors who misdiagnose. This story is a good illustration of how doctors sometimes try to fob IBS patients off with a prescription and a "Just learn to live with it, petal", and how important it is to not let them get away with it!

"I don't remember the exact transition from normal bowel to stupid bowel, but it was about 10 years ago. I began to have diarrhea frequently but also became ill a lot, and caught every bug that was going around. At first I largely ignored it and dealt with the unpleasantness, not having a huge amount of natural shame.

The first time I went to see my GP, he happily suggested that it was 'something we call IBS', said that no-one knew what caused it etc, and tried me on that anti-inflammatory stuff and some fiber goo. When nothing changed, I went back. That particular GP was and still is a real patronising goon, so I visited every GP in the practice. One particularly enlightened lady doctor actually said to me: 'What do you want me to do?' (in the tone of 'What do you want me to do about your dead goldfish?').

This pattern continued for about three or four years until I saw a locum GP at the same surgery. When I had sat down she asked me what the problem was and I replied that I hadn't had a solid poo for about three years. When I saw a hint of surprise on her face, I knew I was onto a winner! She seemed concerned that I hadn't been referred to the hospital and did so at once.

My new hospital doctor blew air up my bum. Then he announced that I probably have something called colitis, and that some more air-blowing tests will confirm it. He then said, and I swear this is true, 'Don't worry, we'll fix you'.

I've since realised that colitis is not fixable, and like IBS, there is an ocean of medication and dosage to sort out, but when that is done colitis can be managed, in my experience, to a more agreeable level than IBS.

So in a very rambled way, what I'm trying to say is that whatever you think you may have, insist on a referral. It took my surgery 10 years and I didn't even have what they originally diagnosed. Secondly, most doctors talk crap and think that they are God. So search for one that listens."

Why self-diagnosis is so crazy

2008-01-16T16:30:38Z

There was a survey out the other day which found that, out of 2,000 adults, 38% said that they "evaluated their self-diagnosed condition over the internet", and 48% said that embarrassing conditions such as sexually transmitted diseases and bowel problems would make them think twice about going to the doctor.

Now, first of all let's take a look at the 38% of people - that's a whopping 760 out of 2,000 adults - who are self-diagnosing and trying to evaluate their own symptoms over the internet. These people have no brain.

Does that sound a bit harsh? Well, it's true. I'm sorry if there's anyone reading this who self-diagnoses through a quick Google in the morning, but, in my humble opinion, you are daft. Let me give you a number of examples as to why, and seeing as though IBS is my specialist subject, as well as one of those embarrassing conditions that people worry about, I'll be using IBS as an example.

Let's imagine that I am an IBS sufferer, and I have never been to the doctor about my symptoms. I search for "IBS" on Google, and I get a number of different sites. Right away I'm in trouble - some of these sites are very well-researched and written by the best doctors in the world. Some are written by people who are only interested in selling you their brand new super-dooper pooper capsules that cure IBS, cancer and global warming in one go, only $99.99 while stocks last.

And some are written by IBS sufferers themselves, and let's say you click on to IBS Tales to try to get your diagnosis. I've listed some common symptoms of IBS on there, and maybe you have every symptom on the list. Hurrah, you think, I've found it!

Except that IBS Tales is written solely by me, and I often make mistakes, being a human bean. I've written that bleeding is a symptom of IBS, when I meant to write that bleeding is rarely a symptom of IBS. And you actually have cancer.

Now, that of course is an extreme example, but it's perfectly possible. And what about celiac disease, or colitis, or Crohn's disease? Are you able to see up your own bottom? If not, you're probably going to need a colonoscopy, and that's not something you should attempt in the living room.

And if you do have, for example, celiac disease, when you've just randomly decided you have IBS, then you're throwing away the chance to feel completely better, just for the sake of a doctor's visit. Celiacs stop eating gluten, and then they feel fine. That's it. Why on earth would you pass up a chance to get better that's so easy?

So, that's that - diagnosing any medical problem over the internet is plain crazy, and if I catch any of you doing it, *especially* if I catch any of you using IBS Tales to do it, then I'll personally come round and eat your gerbils. That's how strongly I feel about it.

Now that's out of the way, let's go back to the second stat of that survey, the 48% of people who would think twice about going to the doc with a sexually transmitted disease or a bowel problem. Now, that one I can understand a bit more, as long as people think twice but do go to see the doc in the end.

I mean, no-one wants to get their genitals out on the table, and no-one wants to talk about their bowel (except me, but I'm special). I do get that, and although my own embarrassment has rather worn off now after so many years as a sufferer, I do remember sitting in the doctor's office and cringing as I tried to explain myself. It's no fun.

I think the most useful thing to do though is to try to imagine it from the doctor's point of view. There are literally millions of people with IBS. Millions. Plus all those people with the other bowel disorders, plus people with everyday constipation or diarrhea. And then there's people with herpes, and genital warts, and hemorrhoids, and bizarre things growing on their buttocks.

I'm willing to bet that there's not a doctor in the country who goes for more than a few hours without hearing something disgusting, or seeing something gross, or poking their fingers into pus. These are not people who sell Prada handbags in Harrods - these are people who deal with bodies falling to bits and decrepitude. And they've seen it all before.

So, please, please go to your doctor and tell them all about your bowels. They're honestly not sitting there and laughing at you, or thinking "Well, I liked this person when they came here for some headache tablets, but now they're constipated I no longer value their time". They're thinking "Right, IBS, let's look at your drugs, did you have that colonoscopy, did you try the fiber drink?". And that's not scary. I promise.

IBS Chat

2008-01-05T17:33:31Z

IBS Chat is a new book which has been written entirely by IBS sufferers - and without them really knowing it! No, they haven't been hypnotised by an evil megalomaniac cyber-sheep and forced to talk about their bowels - stop being silly. They've just contributed to the rather wonderful IBS Self-help Group bulletin board, and now the best, most supportive and most knowledgable posts from that board have been collected into a book.

Now, perhaps the first question you might ask is why you would bother to buy a book version of a website, when the website already exists. The answer is, of course, editing. The IBS Self-help Group now contains thousands upon thousands of posts, if not millions, and while that fact makes it a great resource in its own right, it does mean that sometimes it can be hard to find what you're looking for. But no longer!

The book has been collated by Jeff Roberts, the founder of the IBS Self-help Group, and Barbara Bradley Bolen, a clinical psychologist and author of Breaking the Bonds of Irritable Bowel Syndrome. The idea behind it is very simple - chapters are dedicated to various different aspects of IBS, such as diarrhea, constipation, diagnostic tests, medication, hypnotherapy etc etc, and then the best posts and threads from the bulletin board are arranged neatly within.

Personally I'm a big fan of things written by IBS sufferers for other IBS sufferers, and the whole reason I started IBS Tales was because I didn't want to read any more books by doctors who were well-meaning but remote, I wanted to read stuff by the people who were actually living it.

There's a real power in reading page after page after page (after page - you get your money with IBS Chat, it's over 500 pages long) written by people who are Just Like You. You begin to realise that most IBS sufferers have the same challenges and problems and bizarre things said to them by well-wishers, and that far from being abnormal we're part of a pretty huge club.

Not only that, you can pick up some great ideas for treatments - there's good coverage for example of the calcium and magnesium supplements that have proved so useful for so many people, despite rarely being mentioned by our doctors.

So, IBS Chat is definitely a book to add to your IBS reading list. My only gripe really would be that there's no index, but the chapters are so well-organised that this isn't much of a problem, and of course you can always look the subject up online.

Buy IBS Chat from Amazon.com

Top 20 Random Facts About Me

2007-12-17T21:34:56Z

Well it's all gone a bit Christmassy now and I'd rather not get into great reams of IBS stuff at this fluffy time of year, so I thought I'd subject you to one of these random blog posts where I just tell you a bunch of facts about me that you never knew (and never wanted to know, probably, but here you are anyway).

Feel free to add your own interesting facts in the comments section to let me get to know you too!

1. I like sheep very much.

2. This year I bought a teddy who is dressed up as a duck, and I think I love him more than I am supposed to. (His name is Benny).

3. I have never smoked a cigarette.

4. I have never been on an aeroplane (this is somewhat IBS-related), although I have been in a helicopter.

5. After being frightened of cooking for many years I am now learning, and am able to gut fish myself.

6. When I was eight I broke my ankle when I was hit in the head by a football and fell down in a strange position.

7. I have at least 30 pairs of socks, most of which have daft things on them like hedgehogs, Eeyore, laughing snails, etc etc. Every time I do laundry I promise myself that I will throw them all out and only buy identical black socks from now on so I don't spend three hours matching up the pairs.

8. My hair is brown but I have a number of white hairs in patches. I am 29.

9. I was once in a hallway at university when Germaine Greer walked past. She looked grumpy.

10. I have two recurring dreams - one where I fail my degree because I have forgotten to turn up to a poetry class for an entire year, and one where it is Armageddon and the world ends in an exciting manner (so far I have had floods, lightning bolts from the sky, and random piles of dead bodies for no apparent reason).

11. I wear glasses.

12. My mum sometimes reads this blog to check that I haven't collapsed in a heap. (Hi mum!).

13. I hate clothes shopping, and I haven't bought any clothes this year at all. Luckily my mum normally buys me pants for Christmas. (Hi mum!).

14. I have been inside Brixton prison.

15. I am good at spelling. I am rubbish at crosswords.

16. I once met Martin Amis and he told me not to read "Sophie's World" because it wasn't very good, so I didn't.

17. My mobile phone is one of those rectangular Nokia phones that was very fashionable about seven years ago.

18. I am quite careful with money. (See 17.)

19. I have a goldfish called Flufflesven who is at least nine years old and lives with my parents.

20. I passed my driving test on the second attempt and have not driven since.