One of my old friends from school is getting married next month, which is obviously very good news and I’m very happy for her. Unfortunately, as a loyal and committed IBS sufferer I have a range of things to worry about before the wedding, and rather than just popping along to the church and then strolling casually to the reception, it’s a little bit more complicated. Why?
Well firstly, because I might be in pain. That might be pain that comes on for half an hour or so and goes away, in which case I’m fine, and I’ll just grit my teeth and make small talk with random people and get through it. Or it might be mild pain throughout the day, in which case I’ll grit my teeth and make small talk and then collapse in a heap once it’s over.
Or it might be excruciating, mind-numbing pain, in which case I just won’t be able to go. But perhaps the worst kind of pain is the pretty-bad-but-not-disabling kind of pain, where I’ll have to sit down and make a decision about whether I should just not go, or whether I should go anyway and pretend to be happy and healthy all day while feeling like I want to drop dead.
And secondly, of course, I might need a bathroom. I’m fairly “lucky” in this respect compared to other sufferers in that it’s actually quite rare for me to need the loo after I’ve got through the first few hours of the morning, but it still happens sometimes. And any kind of public gathering of a few hundred people is really not the place to get the runs. There’ll be queues, and no paper, and people trying to pretend they’re not listening as you flush the loo seven times and make highly inappropriate groaning noises.
And then thirdly, there’ll be all those random people. I’m socially questionable at the best of times, but with IBS as well it makes it that much harder. You’re having a lovely chat about the flowers or the weather or your work life or whatever, and you watch in horror as the conversation gradually steers itself to an IBS-related area. “So, why do you work from home?”, someone will ask, or “Hey, Bob told me you run websites, that’s exciting – what are they about?”
“Because my bowel likes to torture me with constipation that knows no bounds”, I reply. “And the websites are all about poo.”
But, oh well, what can you do. It’s their wedding day – just be happy.
Oh I know this one well.. and now to add to the pain – I am getting married myself.. now normally this would be a happy occasion and all the plans that most women dream of – but not for the sufferers of ibs. No looking round wedding shops for hours trying on dresses for me.. oh nope. Internet order dresses for everyone and a small group of really close people allowed at the wedding.. too many people standing there staring at me would be too much.. its gonna be bad enuff as it is..
Not quite my dream fairytale wedding is it.. xx
“And the websites are all about poo.”
Okay, you really made me smile with that one! I *so* know the feeling about social awkwardness. Nothing is easy with IBS. Every event is a potential problem.
I just got back from my two week holiday in Ireland and it actually went pretty well but only because I did all my own cooking. Restaurants are simply impossible. Even things that seem safe enough arrive with spices, sauces or sidedishes that later render the meal a disaster. But anyway, not one alcoholic drink the entire time and zero food experimentation did the trick for me (which meant no eating the airline food too – it was a hungry flight!). Now I just have to figure out how the hell to get through the rest of my life.
I went to my cousin’s wedding a few months ago and was just overjoyed to spot plain-ish chicken, green beans and potatoes (all things I can handle). I hope you have similarly good luck at the upcoming wedding and reception! Keep the faith!
I am glad to have found a blog that I can aquanit to. My doctor couldn’t figure out if I have IBS or Crohn’s Disease. Especially when I have been dealing with Crohn’s Disease for over 30 years. He did suggest I start drinking Citracel and it does work. Stopped the diahrea and the cramping. Now though I have a new symptom and that is horrible gas in the small intestine right after I eat most foods. I stopped eating egg yolks several years ago and always stay away from milk and chocolate. The newest horror is sugar. I have gone totally sugar free and that has helped. I have two stricutures in the small intestine and when the food passes through you can see the “lump” moving across my upper abdomen. I just read about SIBO and am going to ask my doctor for the test. I believe I may have a bacterial infection in the small intestine. Thank you for sharing. As my kids (now 29 and 34) say: “We have never finished a meal without “poo” coming up somehow.”
VERY funny, as always!! But sickeningly true… I find I’ve gone through 3 clear stages with talking about my IBS/symptoms – first was feeling so embarrassed I daren’t tell anyone about it. Next came the relief that comes with finally sharing what’s going on, and I started sharing just about about every detail, still cringing and blushing, but sharing nonetheless.
And now? Now it’s such a huge part of my life I don’t actually realise I’m doing it. Which is, of course, somewhat tricky in social situations! Luckily I’m not in a state to find myself in any of those, but still… I can’t help myself, like someone else commented – my family, boyfriend or friends would be absolutely stunned if I managed to go ten minutes, never mind a whole meal, without mentioning poo in one way or another! Deary me, there’s yet another of those things I thought I’d never find myself saying…
would you recommend your nutritionist? do you think it works continually? how much did you pay altogether? i am at the end of my tether with ibs and desperately want help so i can live a normal life!!
I too am getting married in fact in a month.. I got engaged two years ago and the first thing i thought was “i hope I don’t have gas or the runs that day!!” I am even having a quick escape zipper sewn into my dress to allow for such emergencies.. I have had many sleepless nights about this topic which will probably make the reality more likely!!
hey like you i have a wedding coming up in 2 weeks and i suffer from ibs. i wont be going through the day but i am going at night. even though my ibs usually goes away at night i am still worried that i wont be able to go as i may feel terrible. i just wish there was a cure for this its not nice to put up with the same constant pain every day and all the other symptons that come with it. the only way that i feel more comfortable is by relaxing and try to calm myself in some way.
i hope all you ibs sufferers are ok out there and hopefully soon doctors will find a cure for this horrible diagnosis.
I sleep at around 10.30 pm. But wake up at around 1.30 am almost everuday. Thanks to Irritable Bowel Syndrome I cant go back to sleep. I am awake till 5 am …and again can sleep for a couple of hours. I am thoroughly frustrated and wish for insights o tackle this problem of insomnia. I am suffering for years now.
milind
I am only 10 years old and I suffer from IBS I have “attacks” quite often. Both my parents are IBS sufferers and I’m guessing it is genetic but I realy need some advice to help me live through the hard pain. I just recently had an attack about an hour ago and I felt like I was about to explode with pain.
Hi Ana – I’m really sorry to hear you’re a fellow sufferer. I think that probably the best advice I can give is to make sure your parents are taking you seriously. Hopefully with their own IBS they will listen to you, so make sure you tell them exactly how bad you are feeling and how often you are having the attacks.
You really shouldn’t have to find a way to cope with the attacks, it should be up to your doctor (with the support of your parents) to find something that reduces your symptoms. Please do talk to your parents about this as much as you can and ask for some more help – you deserve it!
I have suffered from IBS for a few years. I feel like I am 90% better but that 10% is still always on my mind. I read a lot of books and have seen a few doctors. I had to change my diet along with taking some prescription medications and I feel so much better. My wedding is next week and it’s supposed to be the happiest day of my life but what is preventing me from feeling this way is my fear that my IBS will kick in that day and especially during my ceremony. I also opted for a small wedding. I plan on eating blan foods that day and no alcohol but was looking for some additional tips. I also have my honeymoon in Europe where I have heard finding restrooms can be difficult nevermind having to have the exact change to use the restroom. There is hope out there for us IBS suffers. We just have to go through life a little differently.