Well it’s all gone a bit Christmassy now and I’d rather not get into great reams of IBS stuff at this fluffy time of year, so I thought I’d subject you to one of these random blog posts where I just tell you a bunch of facts about me that you never knew (and never wanted to know, probably, but here you are anyway).
Feel free to add your own interesting facts in the comments section to let me get to know you too!
1. I like sheep very much.
2. This year I bought a teddy who is dressed up as a duck, and I think I love him more than I am supposed to. (His name is Benny).
3. I have never smoked a cigarette.
4. I have never been on an aeroplane (this is somewhat IBS-related), although I have been in a helicopter.
5. After being frightened of cooking for many years I am now learning, and am able to gut fish myself.
6. When I was eight I broke my ankle when I was hit in the head by a football and fell down in a strange position.
7. I have at least 30 pairs of socks, most of which have daft things on them like Eeyore, laughing snails, etc etc. Every time I do laundry I promise myself that I will throw them all out and only buy identical black socks from now on so I don’t spend three hours matching up the pairs.
8. My hair is brown but I have a number of white hairs in patches. I am 29.
9. I was once in a hallway at university when Germaine Greer walked past. She looked grumpy.
10. I have two recurring dreams – one where I fail my degree because I have forgotten to turn up to a poetry class for an entire year, and one where it is Armageddon and the world ends in an exciting manner (so far I have had floods, lightning bolts from the sky, and random piles of dead bodies for no apparent reason).
11. I wear glasses.
12. My mum sometimes reads this blog to check that I haven’t collapsed in a heap. (Hi mum!).
13. I hate clothes shopping, and I haven’t bought any clothes this year at all. Luckily my mum normally buys me pants for Christmas. (Hi mum!)
14. I have been inside Brixton prison.
15. I am good at spelling. I am rubbish at crosswords.
16. I once met Martin Amis and he told me not to read “Sophie’s World” because it wasn’t very good, so I didn’t.
17. My mobile phone is one of those rectangular Nokia phones that was very fashionable about seven years ago.
18. I am quite careful with money. (See 17.)
19. I have a goldfish called Flufflesven who is at least nine years old and lives with my parents.
20. I passed my driving test on the second attempt and have not driven since.