January 2005 Archives

I've been in a couple of situations recently where I haven't quite made the grade - I went for a job interview and didn't get it, and I've been sorting a few things out in my life and have made some boring paperwork mistakes and things.

When this type of thing happens, it's not that I mind that much - I would have liked the job, but it's not the end of the world. It's just that I want to say to the interviewers "OK, fine, choose someone else - but they do have a slight advantage, you know. Anyone who didn't spend three hours yesterday in pain is going to be a bit chirpier than me, don't you think?"

I'd like some of those L plates that they put on learner drivers, except that mine could be IBS plates. Cut this girl some slack, because she's been living with bizarre and unruly intestines for 15 years.

Won't happen though. I just get judged against the healthy people.

To me, one of the most convincing and sensible explanations for IBS is a disruption to the 'friendly' bacteria in the intestines. It seems like such a good explanation because many IBS sufferers find that their symptoms start after a particularly virulent bout of food poisoning, when evil bacteria are wreaking havoc with the gut.

All it would take is a few million of these evil bacteria remaining lodged in the gut and you would have bowel problems. It just seems a more logical explanation than some of the airy-fairy theories which we're sometimes asked to swallow, such as "It's stress, calm down a bit and you'll be fine". If a doctor thinks it's psychological then I suppose that's his choice, but my IBS started after I spent two whole days vomiting and being incontinent on the bedsheets - do you not think there's a connection?

Here's a quote from a national newspaper about those evil little organisms:

"We're now thinking that under certain circumstances these bacteria increase a million fold, and this may lead to disorders such as irritable bowel syndrome," says Cambridge gastroenterologist Professor John Hunter.

Well, it makes sense to me. Although probiotics, which would in theory solve the bacteria problem, have not yet been scientifically proven to any great extent, this does give some hope that at least a certain number of IBS sufferers have only to wait a few years before some bright spark invents a bactericide that wipes out the bad boys and leaves in the good.

Running a website on IBS has its difficulties, but in many ways IBS is an illness that's uniquely suited to the web. If we're uptight and embarrassed by our symptoms in real life then we can just cyber cry without anyone knowing who we are.

I am sure that the internet has been a saving grace for all kinds of people with embarrassing illnesses, from IBS to Crohn's Disease to impotence to testicular cancer. It allows us to be completely honest about our symptoms - all our symptoms - without ever worrying about people finding out who we 'really' are. And that's fantastic.

The only real problems I have with running the website are, first, that people sometimes ask for medical advice. I completely understand the inclination and I don't blame them at all - I just wish I had something more useful to tell them than "There is no cure for IBS but there are many approaches to treatment..." and recommending a few good books. Unfortunately I'm still suffering from IBS myself and so I'm totally unqualified to advise others in how to get rid of their own symptoms.

And the second problem? Spelling. Diarrhea or diarhea or diarrea? Took me years to work that one out. And not only do I have to work it out, I have to remember that the US version is 'diarrhea' and the UK one is 'diarrhoea', and that fiber supplements are OK in the states but fibre is best in the UK, and what do I do if it's going to be read by both sets of people?

It's a puzzle.

The terrible scenes of the tsunami are still fresh on our screens. Thousands of people have been killed, many more are missing, and people are desperate.

It is when horrific events like these occur that I start to wonder how much we actually deserve in life. What I mean is - do we all deserve perfect health, and husbands, and children? We all seem to expect them.

Or, maybe I should say that all of us in the western world seem to expect them. We are drugged by our glossy magazines and celebrity pictures into believing that it is our God-given right to be beautiful and rich and glowingly happy, and if we are not then the world is tragically unfair.

I spend a lot of time feeling sorry for myself. My poor stomach, I think, my poor defeated bowel. It is only occasionally, when the whole world wakes up to a disaster like this, that I realise that maybe I'm not so poor after all.